


its always better when its you

by leafykeith



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, M/M, Soulmate AU, its fluffy though, super soft boys, this was stressful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 02:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13308969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafykeith/pseuds/leafykeith
Summary: silentpeaches: Your soulmate from the past life is not your soulmate in this life.started this in the summer and barely picked it up. sorry its bad.





	its always better when its you

There were times that he hated the dreams, more times than he loved them. They were supposed to  _ help  _ you find your soulmate, if the pairings stayed the same throughout the different lives. Unfortunately, there were people who did not… stay soulmates. In cases like that, the dreams were essentially useless, simply memories of past lives, of the way those past soulmates smiled, of past loving mornings with the smell of pancakes in the air.

It wasn’t just the dreams that helped a person find their soulmate. 

There were lines running down his father’s arms, curling up as they reached his wrist, once a lilac color, but faded since the disappearance of his mother, every day edging further into gray. They ignored it, but there were nights that he heard the sound of a voice telling his father that  _ the number you are dialing has been discontinued,  _ and the whispers asking the empty room  _ where are you why did I agree to this are you okay what’s happening why why why why why. _

 

The soulmate in his dreams twirled and laughed into the wind, her hair much longer than it was now, her smile equally brilliant as it was now, their dynamics different.

Back then, he wasn’t as shy, different life experiences making him braver than he could ever dream of being. Back then,  _ he  _ had approached  _ her, he  _ had asked  _ her _ to dance,  _ he  _ had been the one to initiate everything. Not because he was braver than her, but because he was braver than he was now, he could walk to her and twirl her in his arms whenever he wanted to. She was  _ right there _ when he needed her, but  _ here  _ she was just beyond his reach.

Back then, things were different, because they were different. He had no doubt that she knew who he was, even if she didn’t know how close she was to him. No one really knew him in this lifetime. It was just him, his dad, and his Player 1, who, funnily enough, was also in these dreams, just as a friend, someone who had been a part of those memories, his best man, his best friend.

 

His soulmark was a  [ half moon, half sun ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/46/c3/96/46c39688a2a61ce52db18f6925ff4c9c--sun-and-mood-tattoo-tattoo-ideas-sun-and-moon.jpg) , black lines outlining the design with the sun part colored light red, a warm pink glow coming off of it, set at his left hip bone, only peeking out slightly when his shirt lifted up. He didn’t really show it to anyone, mostly because in the dreams, he had a different soulmark, one in a different place, and that was slightly concerning.

He watched her shine from a distance, leaning against the lockers when she passed by, the same smile from his dreams, the same laugh, the same twinkle in her eyes. He watched her take the stage as her own, watched her  _ fucking own it,  _ and in a different lifetime, he would have given her the biggest bouquet of roses he could have found and swept her off her feet, lifting her through the air. But this was not back then, this was now, and now, he just stared in awe and blushed when Michael nudged him with a smirk on his face.

Michael had those dreams, too, the ones that had him in them as a minor character, the best man at Michael’s wedding as well, but he actually paid attention to the background characters, so he knew the role that she played in their lives. In their past lives, really.

But things were different now, and she was out of his reach, just beyond his fingertips, this wonderful shining beacon that he was never destined to touch.

 

He had reached school early, far earlier than he was used to, because Michael had offered him a ride, and shit,  _ anything  _ beat taking the bus or walking. But Michael had been distracted by someone in his music class, and he had waved them off, promising to meet up with Michael after class. He made his way to his locker, keeping his eyes on the ground, counting the tiles, listening to the conversations filled with names that he recognized, but people he didn’t  _ really  _ know. He pulled some textbooks out of his backpack, ignoring the glares that were being sent him by the people he was supposed to call his peers. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He shut his locker and looked around the hallway. He could see  _ her,  _ an invisible breeze brushing her hair back, sparkles around her face, her voice singled out in a crowd no matter where he was, like some shitty shōjo manga. She stopped near the bulletin board, pointing excitedly at the after school play sign up sheet, turning back to smile at her friends. He let his head fall back onto his locker, remembering how she danced on green fields and sang her way into everyone’s heart. He thought of the blue music notes, the ones that they had played when he first walked up to her and asked her to dance, the ones they had played at their wedding, the ones she had twirled around to in their cramped kitchen that they bought themselves without anyone else’s help, the ones that had been running down his neck from his jaw, swirling around to settle at his collarbone, matching with the orange cadence on her skin.

But that was then.

And while he wouldn’t approach her in this lifetime, he couldn’t resist the urge to just admire her from a distance, as non-stalkerish as he could. It is was impossible to not watch her, she was the living embodiment of sunshine and happiness, someone that people looked to if they needed someone to bring light to their lives.

 

Michael had been in his life for as long as he could remember, and even before that. They had met in the war the last time, at nearly the same age they were now. Michael in this lifetime still loved music, still spent every moment of his day worrying over his friends, mostly singular in this lifetime though. He still shined in his own way, in a way that she didn’t, in a way that he couldn’t even begin to understand.

 

“I never even noticed that the girl at 7-11 has her soulmark right on her neck.” He laughed.

“That’s a whole new level of oblivious, Michael. I don’t even think I’ve reached that point.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Could anyone be more oblivious than you?” Michael shot him an affectionate smile, one that had gone unnoticed for years, one that he had barely truly noticed.

“No, no I don’t think anyone could.” He felt himself smile back, but he knew his mind was still overwhelmed with thoughts of  _ her _ and the way  _ she _ had smiled, and wow, it was amazing how the feeling he had once associated with her smile was the same as the way he felt about Michael’s.

Interesting.

 

He didn’t  _ like  _ theater as much as he had once loved it, adored the way she claimed the stage and no one could ever take her place, but that didn’t stop him from showing up to rehearsal if only to be near her. He didn’t just spend the time staring at her, he definitely likes helping around the set, making faces at Michael, who stuck his tongue out at him from the tech office. He got supporting roles, sometimes even a line or two, but he liked it that way. He spent that time, the time she spent on stage, with Michael, laughing quietly and making jokes about nothing.

 

It wasn’t until they were a month from graduating that he finally got the nerve to actually talk to her. He caught up with her as they were leaving one of the meetings about the plans for the last summer show for the seniors. She was always the last to leave, but she walked fast, so he had to tell Michael to wait for him before running after her.

“Chris-Christine!” She turned around and tilted her head as she focused on him. As she recognized him, a smile overtook her face and he felt the breath leave his body.

“Jeremy, right? I’ve noticed you at rehearsal, but I just never had the chance to say hi.” He nodded along, and she continued to talk, about rehearsal, a dog she saw on the way to school, how excited she was for this summer’s play, anything. He could see Michael exiting the theater room and knew how much teasing he would get if he didn’t take action now.

“Christine, I was wondering if you, uh, wanted to get frozen yogurt sometime?” Her eyes widened and she looked past him, seeing Michael.

“Oh! Uh, will Michael be there?” Huh. Not what Jeremy thought this conversation would go. But a soulmate bond was one that Jeremy couldn’t let go. He turned around and Michael gave him a thumbs up, but Jeremy wasn’t sure he had heard and was just being supportive.

“Yeah, Michael will be there.” Her smile returned and she nodded.

“I would be happy to go then!” Jeremy felt his heart soar, but then she got a nervous look. “Um, would it be okay if I invited Jenna? You know Jenna Rolan?” She continued after Jeremy nodded. “Well, she hangs out with Chloe and Brooke after school, usually, but they’re so mean to her, even though I keep telling her to just come to rehearsal instead.” She was starting to ramble. Eventually, Jeremy was able to say  _ yeah it’s fine if Jenna comes. _

 

And so, the next Friday, Jeremy waited with Michael by his car for the two girls. Michael was next to him, and Jeremy couldn’t remember if Michael had always smelled this nice or if his hair had always looked that soft, but he knew that the sun had always made his eyes seem to glitter with  _ just the right angle _ .

Christine showed up with Jenna trailing behind her nervously.

“It  _ is _ okay that I come, right?” She sounded as if she had already become accustomed to hearing rejection from her friends. Michael threw his arm around Jeremy’s shoulder and grinned at her.

“Of course it is.”

Jenna’s smile was blinding.

 

It took a few months, but eventually, Christine and Jeremy were in a place where they could hang out. Alone.

It took a few months, but eventually, Jeremy realized it wasn’t Christine that he wanted.

It took a few months, but eventually, Jeremy realized why he could finally see Michael’s smile shine brighter than ever.

 

She had reached up to grab something, something that he couldn’t remember now despite the fact that the moment was so memorable for him, and her shirt slid up. Jeremy usually looked away, but this time, he couldn’t. He felt his heart sink as a little bit of her bare skin was. He saw his hand reach out but stopped himself. As she turned around to look at him, his mind began racing.

“You… You don’t have the mark.” Her smile froze and she looked down at her feet.

“Ah… Uh, no.”

“You know that in a past life…” Her eyes met his but she didn’t answer.

“I was born without a Mark, but I still have the dreams sometimes. I can’t always see your face, but I do remember how happy we were.”

“You… You don’t have a Mark.” She smiled slightly.

“No, I’m aromantic. I… Jenna is my platonic girlfriend, you know? I love her a lot, but she’s ace too. She has a Mark, but she’s not actively searching for them. I think if she finds them, we can be happy together.”

She left soon after, leaving Jeremy to wonder where to go from here.

 

Michael invited him to the lake before they started college, and Jeremy realized that he didn’t remember a time where he had seen Michael shirtless before. As he pulled off his own shirt, he also realized that he had never talked about Soul Marks with Michael either. Weird.

They spent the afternoon swimming around the lake and splashing each other, and Jeremy pretended not to notice how pretty Michael’s eyelashes looked and how his skin glowed in the setting sunlight. 

When they were changing back into their dry clothes, Jeremy noticed that Michael had stopped moving and was just staring at him. He pulled his shirt down and asked Michael if he was okay. Michael just smiled widely and laughed.

“I’m fucking amazing now.” Jeremy didn’t understand the laughter, but it was infectious and he laughed along too. Michael took his hand and they walked back to the car, neither of them addressing the warm touch or the way their hearts beat faster.

 

He looked so incredible when he was asleep, and Jeremy found it hard to believe that he was here with him instead of going to the parties he was invited to. As he ran his fingers through Michael’s hair, he smiled as Michael sighed softly and his eyes opened.

“Why are you here?” Michael looked confused. “I mean, why are you here with me, of all people? I’ve seen you out there, you’re so outgoing. You were right about being cool in college, after all. But, you can be anywhere you want, why be here?” Michael sat up and pressed his hand to Jeremy’s forehead. It slid down to his cheek and he leaned into it. The side of Michael’s mouth twitched upwards.

He didn’t know who leaned in first, but he learned that Michael’s lips were just as soft as he always thought they were. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck and his fingers slid upwards, feeling Michael shiver. They separated so that Michael could sit up properly. As he leaned back in, Michael started giggling. He couldn’t resist laughing along, at the simple ridiculousness of the situation.

“You’re a terrible kisser, Jeremy,” but he leaned in again, pulling Jeremy into his lap. He mumbled an apology against Michael’s lips, but felt Michael’s arms around his waist bring him closer and his legs tightened around Michael’s thighs. He felt more at home than he had ever felt wrapped up in Michael.

He felt Michael’s fingers move up under his shirt, a light brush against his Mark, bringing him back out of his foggy mind.

“Michael,” it isn’t enough to bring Michael out, who presses his forehead against Jeremy’s, humming gently. “Michael, what about your soulmate?” This does get Michael’s attention.

“What do you mean?” His pupils are dilated, and it reminds Jeremy how dizzy he got.

“What about them? You shouldn’t be doing this with me.” Michael laughed and pushed Jeremy back a little bit, pulling up his shirt to look at Jeremy’s Mark. He smiled and pressed the skin, sending shivers down Jeremy’s spine.

“It looks so strange when it's not on me.” Jeremy felt himself frown and touched the back of Michael’s hand.

“What do you mean?” Michael laughed softly and leaned back.

“You’re so oblivious.” He pulled up his own shirt and Jeremy held back a gasp as Michael pressed his hand onto his identical Mark, the colors inverted, but the design the same. He watched his fingers outline the moon and sun and laughed.

“How long have you known?” Michael pulled him closer and buried his face in Jeremy’s neck.

“Long enough. Been waiting for you to realize, but this is fine, too.”

 

He watched Christine run around their yard, chased by Michael, laughter rising from both of them. He smiled and leaned against the doorway, hearing Jenna come up next to him.

“Do you wish she was yours in this lifetime too?” It was a question he wouldn’t have expected from her, but he knew it would have come eventually. Her tone wasn’t confrontational, and she was staring lovingly at Christine, who had been caught by Michael, getting a bucket of water thrown at her, her shrieking mixed with Michael’s laughing.

“It was different then. I’m… I’m really happy it’s him. I hope it’s him in the next one, too.”

“It’s always better when they’re your best friend, isn’t it?”

She made her way into the yard, throwing a water balloon at Michael, avenging Christine, and he followed, snickering when Michael threw himself on the ground with an  _ et tu, Jeremy? _

  
  
  


Jeremy jolted awake, the dream of running through sprinklers with his soulmate and friends still echoing through his mind. He sat up and blinked in the darkness. As he rubbed his eyes, he felt hands pulling him back down.

“Wha hap’n?” He smiled and ran his fingers through soft brown hair.

“Just have to pee.” The hands moved away, leaving him free to move.

When he got back into bed, he could barely see his soulmate in this life, but the warmth in the bed was there. He thought about what the girl had said in the dream.

_ It’s always better when they’re your best friend, isn’t it? _

He closed his eyes and felt a warm hand wrap around his wrist, rubbing lightly where the blue constellations ran up his forearm.

_ Yeah, it always is. _

**Author's Note:**

> *nervous laughter* havent worked on that superhero au,,,, but uhhhhhhhhh,,,,,, worked on this???? hahahahahah o hwell itll get done eventually.


End file.
